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For Immediate Relief: Speaking Like a Human

merlin: On How Not to Write a Press Release T his is why I have no stick for people who whine about whether Strunk & White should still be required reading for anyone with access to a keyboard. Regardless of the industry, audience, or purpose, this is just bad writing for non-people.

You sitting down?

[Release snipped to get to the red meat]

How ‘bout that, huh? Lots to love. Setting aside that it’s an announcement about a future announcement, you got yourself a greatest hits of ineffective writing going on here. You got passive voice, buzzword bingo, empty adverbs, tons more passive voice, and a piquant use of “air quotes” that lightens up a non-nutritional buzzterm even the writers seem to think makes no sense.

I’m also a big fan of that yearbook-caption style of opening a sentence with a gerund (“Flipping the Wang Chung cassette in his Fiero, Douglas plucks at the pastel tee clinging like a crazy girlfriend to the sherbet Don Johnson blazer blazing in the blazing Dade City sun.”).

Notes

  1. wka reblogged this from merlin and added:
    Merlin Mann, For Immediate Relief: Speaking Like
  2. bsag reblogged this from merlin and added:
    “A gerund attacks some peaceful pronouns”:...that’s why you never start
  3. daserbeam reblogged this from merlin and added:
    kung fu grippe: For Immediate Relief: Speaking Like
  4. neckbeard reblogged this from merlin and added:
    whole critique isn’t perfectly caustic, but as...former practitioner
  5. danielpietzsch reblogged this from merlin and added:
    NewsGator’s “NewsGator Platinum Partner Program Leverages Best Enterprise Social Computing Minds
  6. wkenworthy reblogged this from merlin and added:
    Merlin rocks: merlin:
  7. wkenworthy reblogged this from merlin and added:
    Merlin rocks: merlin:
  8. steampoweredmedia reblogged this from merlin and added:
    Or take my class. I teach one section of ENC 1101 in the fall and one section of ENC 2210 in the spring. We meet...
  9. simongoudie reblogged this from merlin
  10. ampersandean reblogged this from merlin
  11. kaching reblogged this from merlin and added:
    Write a Press Release T his
  12. pascal reblogged this from merlin and added:
    rest @ kung fu grippe »
  13. morrowplanet reblogged this from merlin and added:
    my office colleagues...soon as I’m done reblogging this. Yes. Sweet creamy Josephus, yes.
  14. cubicleparty reblogged this from merlin

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